The classic approach to the treatment of depression boils down to find the problem and eliminate it, find out what and where it went wrong. Well, then? What to do when there is no more problem when the state of zero has come? We must rise above, teaches positive psychology, become happy, find what to live for.
At a conference in Paris, the journalist of the French Psychologies met with the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, to ask him about the essence of the method and ways of self -realization.
Psychologies: How did you get a new idea of psychology tasks?
Martin Seligman: I worked with depression for a long time, melancholy. When the patient told me: “I want to be happy,” I replied: “You want you to have depression”. I thought that we had to go to the “absence” – the lack of suffering. One evening my wife asked me: “You are happy?”I replied:” What a stupid question! I’m not unlucky „. “Someday you will understand,” my Mandy answered.
And then an insight came to you thanks to one of your daughters, Nikki ..
When Nikki
was 6 years old, she led me to insight. She danced in the garden, sang, sniffed roses. And I began to shout to her: “Nikki, go to do!”She returned to the house and said to me:“ You remember that until I was 5 years old, I whimpered all the time? You noticed that I don’t do it anymore?”I replied:” Yes, this is very good „. “You know, when I was 5 years old, I decided to quit it. And this is the most difficult thing I have done in my life. So, since I quit whining, you can stop grimacing all the time!”
Three things became clear to me immediately: firstly, I was mistaken in my upbringing. My real parental task was not to find fault with Nikki, but to show her what her talents were, and to encourage her. Secondly, Nikki was right-I was a grumbler. And I was proud of it! All my successes were based on the ability to notice that it was going wrong.